TEN THINGS YOUR STUDENT WITH AUTISM WISHES YOU KNEW - PART 1
TEN THINGS YOUR STUDENT WITH AUTISM WISHES YOU KNEW (Part 1 -the First 5)
These ideas make sense for other kids too
© 2005 Ellen Notbohm
Author’s note: When my article Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew was first published in November 2004, I could scarcely have imagined the response. Reader after reader wrote to tell me that the piece should be required reading for all social service workers, teachers and relatives of children with autism. “Just what my daughter would say if she could,” said one mother. “How I wish I had read this five years ago. It took my husband and I such a long time to ‘learn’ these things,” said another. As the responses mounted, I decided that the resonance was coming from the fact that the piece spoke with a child’s voice, a voice not heard often enough. There is great need – and I hope, great willingness – to understand the world as special needs children experience it. Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew became a book in 2005, and now the voice of our child returns now to tell us what children with autism wish their teachers knew.
1. Behavior is communication. All behavior occurs for a reason. It tells you, even when my words can’t, how I perceive what is happening around me. Negative behavior interferes with my learning process. But merely interrupting these behaviors is not enough; teach me to exchange these behaviors with proper alternatives so that real learning can flow.
Start by believing this: I truly do want to learn to interact appropriately. No child wants the negative feedback we get from “bad” behavior. Negative behavior usually means I am overwhelmed by disordered sensory systems, cannot communicate my wants or needs or don’t understand what is expected of me. Look beyond the behavior to find the source of my resistance. Keep notes as to what happened immediately before the behavior: people involved, time of day, activities, settings. Over time, a pattern may emerge.
2. Never assume anything. Without factual backup, an assumption is only a guess. I may not know or understand the rules. I may have heard the instructions but not understood them. Maybe I knew it yesterday but can’t retrieve it today. Ask yourself:
· Are you sure I really know how to do what is being asked of me? If I suddenly need to run to the bathroom every time I’m asked to do a math sheet, maybe I don’t know how or fear my effort will not be good enough. Stick with me through enough repetitions of the task to where I feel competent. I may need more practice to master tasks than other kids.
· Are you sure I actually know the rules? Do I understand the reason for the rule (safety, economy, health)? Am I breaking the rule because there is an underlying cause? Maybe I pinched a snack out of my lunch bag early because I was worried about finishing my science project, didn’t eat breakfast and am now famished.
3. Look for sensory issues first. A lot of my resistant behaviors come from sensory discomfort. One example is fluorescent lighting, which has been shown over and over again to be a major problem for children like me. The hum it produces is very disturbing to my hypersensitive hearing, and the pulsing nature of the light can distort my visual perception, making objects in the room the light can distort my visual perception, making objects in the room appear to be in constant movement. An incandescent lamp on my desk will reduce the flickering, as will the new, natural light tubes. Or maybe I need to sit closer to you; I don’t understand what you are saying because there are too many noises “in between” – that lawnmower outside the window,
Jasmine whispering to Tanya, chairs scraping, pencil sharpener grinding.
Ask the school occupational therapist for sensory-friendly ideas for the classroom.
It’s actually good for all kids, not just me.
4. Provide me a break to allow for self-regulation before I need it. A quiet, carpeted
corner of the room with some pillows, books and headphones allows me a place to go to
re-group when I feel overwhelmed, but isn’t so far physically removed that I won’t be
able to rejoin the activity flow of the classroom smoothly.
5. Tell me what you want me to do in the positive rather than the imperative. “You left a mess by the sink!” is merely a statement of fact to me. I’m not able to infer that what you really mean is “Please rinse out your paint cup and put the paper towels in the trash.” Don’t make me guess or have to figure out what I should do.
© 2005 Ellen Notbohm
Ellen Notbohm is author of Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew and Ten Things Your Student with Autism Wishes You Knew, both ForeWord Book of the Year finalists and iParenting Media Award recipients. She is also co-author of the award-winning 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders, a columnist for Autism Asperger’s Digest and Children’s Voice, and a contributor to numerous publications and websites around the world. Her new book, The Autism Trail Guide: Postcards from the Road Less Traveled, is a September 2007 release. To contact Ellen or explore her work, please visit http://www.ellennotbohm.com/ .
Part 2 of this article will be published in the near future. Please be sure to check back
frequently for further updates.
These ideas make sense for other kids too
© 2005 Ellen Notbohm
Author’s note: When my article Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew was first published in November 2004, I could scarcely have imagined the response. Reader after reader wrote to tell me that the piece should be required reading for all social service workers, teachers and relatives of children with autism. “Just what my daughter would say if she could,” said one mother. “How I wish I had read this five years ago. It took my husband and I such a long time to ‘learn’ these things,” said another. As the responses mounted, I decided that the resonance was coming from the fact that the piece spoke with a child’s voice, a voice not heard often enough. There is great need – and I hope, great willingness – to understand the world as special needs children experience it. Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew became a book in 2005, and now the voice of our child returns now to tell us what children with autism wish their teachers knew.
1. Behavior is communication. All behavior occurs for a reason. It tells you, even when my words can’t, how I perceive what is happening around me. Negative behavior interferes with my learning process. But merely interrupting these behaviors is not enough; teach me to exchange these behaviors with proper alternatives so that real learning can flow.
Start by believing this: I truly do want to learn to interact appropriately. No child wants the negative feedback we get from “bad” behavior. Negative behavior usually means I am overwhelmed by disordered sensory systems, cannot communicate my wants or needs or don’t understand what is expected of me. Look beyond the behavior to find the source of my resistance. Keep notes as to what happened immediately before the behavior: people involved, time of day, activities, settings. Over time, a pattern may emerge.
2. Never assume anything. Without factual backup, an assumption is only a guess. I may not know or understand the rules. I may have heard the instructions but not understood them. Maybe I knew it yesterday but can’t retrieve it today. Ask yourself:
· Are you sure I really know how to do what is being asked of me? If I suddenly need to run to the bathroom every time I’m asked to do a math sheet, maybe I don’t know how or fear my effort will not be good enough. Stick with me through enough repetitions of the task to where I feel competent. I may need more practice to master tasks than other kids.
· Are you sure I actually know the rules? Do I understand the reason for the rule (safety, economy, health)? Am I breaking the rule because there is an underlying cause? Maybe I pinched a snack out of my lunch bag early because I was worried about finishing my science project, didn’t eat breakfast and am now famished.
3. Look for sensory issues first. A lot of my resistant behaviors come from sensory discomfort. One example is fluorescent lighting, which has been shown over and over again to be a major problem for children like me. The hum it produces is very disturbing to my hypersensitive hearing, and the pulsing nature of the light can distort my visual perception, making objects in the room the light can distort my visual perception, making objects in the room appear to be in constant movement. An incandescent lamp on my desk will reduce the flickering, as will the new, natural light tubes. Or maybe I need to sit closer to you; I don’t understand what you are saying because there are too many noises “in between” – that lawnmower outside the window,
Jasmine whispering to Tanya, chairs scraping, pencil sharpener grinding.
Ask the school occupational therapist for sensory-friendly ideas for the classroom.
It’s actually good for all kids, not just me.
4. Provide me a break to allow for self-regulation before I need it. A quiet, carpeted
corner of the room with some pillows, books and headphones allows me a place to go to
re-group when I feel overwhelmed, but isn’t so far physically removed that I won’t be
able to rejoin the activity flow of the classroom smoothly.
5. Tell me what you want me to do in the positive rather than the imperative. “You left a mess by the sink!” is merely a statement of fact to me. I’m not able to infer that what you really mean is “Please rinse out your paint cup and put the paper towels in the trash.” Don’t make me guess or have to figure out what I should do.
© 2005 Ellen Notbohm
Ellen Notbohm is author of Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew and Ten Things Your Student with Autism Wishes You Knew, both ForeWord Book of the Year finalists and iParenting Media Award recipients. She is also co-author of the award-winning 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders, a columnist for Autism Asperger’s Digest and Children’s Voice, and a contributor to numerous publications and websites around the world. Her new book, The Autism Trail Guide: Postcards from the Road Less Traveled, is a September 2007 release. To contact Ellen or explore her work, please visit http://www.ellennotbohm.com/ .
Part 2 of this article will be published in the near future. Please be sure to check back
frequently for further updates.
