Grandma on Autism
My grandson is autistic. This was a very hard concept for me to wrap my brain around. My precious grandson is autistic. When my daughter first suspected there was a problem, I could handle the idea of a problem, but when the label was finally applied, I sat down and cried. To me "Autism" referred to those children who stood in a corner and rocked back and forth. That label was given to my grandson 5 years ago and now I have learned more about the spectrum which includes so many levels of autism or delayed development.
Rationally I understand his problems and realize that he is improving with all of his therapies. He is very high functioning and is mainstreamed in a regular 2nd grade. Emotionally my heart breaks every time I see that he does not communicate with his cousin who is the exact same age, doesn’t interact with his brothers as much as he should and does not have the friends that call and want to play.
When a little boy, his friend, stopped coming for playdates because that boy's mother did not want her son to be friendly with my grandson, it broke my heart. They played beautifully and my grandson was so happy to have a friend. He cried when his mom finally told him that the child would not be coming to his house anymore. This was just another instance of prejudice in our world.
I want so much for his life to be normal. I want him not to struggle with the things in life that should come naturally to him. I want my daughter to be able to relax, and calm down. She is so hyper and constantly on the run with all the children and his therapies. The money that those therapies cost drains their resources so that they cannot go away on much needed vacations.
Autism is now found in one in 166 children. We need to find out what is causing this disease. We need to make everyone aware of early detection. We need to open our arms and accept these children, showing other children that it is alright to play with all children.
Rationally I understand his problems and realize that he is improving with all of his therapies. He is very high functioning and is mainstreamed in a regular 2nd grade. Emotionally my heart breaks every time I see that he does not communicate with his cousin who is the exact same age, doesn’t interact with his brothers as much as he should and does not have the friends that call and want to play.
When a little boy, his friend, stopped coming for playdates because that boy's mother did not want her son to be friendly with my grandson, it broke my heart. They played beautifully and my grandson was so happy to have a friend. He cried when his mom finally told him that the child would not be coming to his house anymore. This was just another instance of prejudice in our world.
I want so much for his life to be normal. I want him not to struggle with the things in life that should come naturally to him. I want my daughter to be able to relax, and calm down. She is so hyper and constantly on the run with all the children and his therapies. The money that those therapies cost drains their resources so that they cannot go away on much needed vacations.
Autism is now found in one in 166 children. We need to find out what is causing this disease. We need to make everyone aware of early detection. We need to open our arms and accept these children, showing other children that it is alright to play with all children.
7 Comments:
At 8:00 PM, Rhonda said…
Hello I am a mother of a son who has been diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder. He has had severe ADHD since he was in Kindergarden. And as most know, if your child is not NORMAL, they don't fit the mold most of our teachers are being taught how to teach. So it has been a long, long battle for someone to finally figure out that I was not the only one who thought this was not just ADHD. He is now 14 and was not officialy diagnosed until this past summer just after the Hurricane. It has been a sigh of relief in that now we can help him better cope with the fact of being different. He knows he is different and we don't hide that from him. But use it in oreder for him to relate better to others by seeing what he needs to work on and how he can make better decisions about what he thinks and says. If you have never heard of the it is a High-Functioning Autism. He is extreamly intelligent but his social skills are not even close to his age so we have to be very careful how we teach him about girls and other things at this age. But please tell your daughter the biggest thing that helped me was to not take it personal, enjoy everthing different about them,don't blame yourself, And by ALL means take a break even if it is a 2 minute time out at a stop light to just breath it will get better when you realize you can't do everything by yourself and some things can wait. While your children will only be here once. I would love to haer more from you here's my E-mail if you would like. craftyboo@hotmail.com GOD BLESS I will keep you in my prayers.
At 9:43 AM, KrisT said…
It's hard. I am the mother of 5 boys. My first 3 (first marriage) were 'normal'. They blended. No problems. My 2nd husband had no children so when we had our first together we were elated. From day one I was in the mindset that my little boy would be above average being as he had 3 much older brothers to learn from. As a baby/toddler he was right on track if not advanced. Walked at 9months. Literally potty trained himself. His fine motor skills were extremely advanced and he could scale 6ft fences and take apart anything with screws including doors off hinges with nothing but a fingernail clipper!! But at the age of 3 he had a vocabulary of 6 words. On the playground when asked to play he could only smile. Confused the other children would shrug him off. Assume he didnt want to play so there he stood. Watching. Just the beginning of my heartbreak. We lived in San Diego. A very large place with too many children. Not to sound racist but the area catered to low income migrants. My little boy became lost in the system. The help he needed we 'didnt qualify for' because we were not poor. And the services we paid for we were put on a waiting list...... and if we still lived in SD we would still be waiting. We moved to a small town in Oregon. When my son was in Kindergarten it was immediately noticed. In a group he disappeared within himself. He simply was unable to function. Within a week he was given an IEP and with the help of doctors and several school district staff members he was bombarded with the help he needed. He was diagnosed at the age of 6 with PDD-NOS. He has autistic tendancies but is not full blown autistic. He does not fit in any specific category but has traits that place him under the umbrella. His social and speaking skill are severely delayed. He has difficulty processing things and when frustrated he has 'meltdowns'. Sometimes can become violent or completely withdrawn. 20 yrs ago he would have been seen as an out of control, undiscipline brat. He would have never been able to complete school and would most likely be an uneducated juvenile delinquent and I dont even want to think of what his adulthood would be like. I had always 'pooh-poohed' labels as lame excuses. But now...... I am so greatful for the label he was given. I like the wording of 'not fitting the mold'. It is true. He is a very smart young man. Adventurous. Adorable. Healthy. Outgoing.... he is just not 'typical'. He cant be taught as typical children are taught. I refer to it as going through a back door in order to get through to him. He is being mainstreamed into a first grade class but still has a long road ahead of him. The good news is that these children are now being recognized and are being given the help they need. It is not only in the classroom. I, as a parent, am getting the assistance I need in order to deal with him at home. My other children dont understand completely but know that I do have to treat him differently in certian situations. There is a difference between tantrums and meltdowns. It's very difficult to explain. Those with children who are challenged know what I mean. Those that dont.... will probably think the way I used to. Labels are excuses used to justify their ill tempered spoiled brat kids. One might say they are ignorant. It is simply that they dont have a special child or they are in denial. The thing is to treat your chlid or grandchild appropriately. give them the support, love and encouragement they need. Every child is different and the Spectrum is large so to each his own. It is not easy and it will be a lifelong struggle. Education is the key. Not just for the child but for the parent or caregiver as well as all the loved ones involved. There is no cure. But it can be overcome. Hang in there. Stay strong and know......your not alone. My words in a sense echo Rhonda's. Dont let other peoples ignorance defeat you. Its not thier fault they dont understand. Know that a child with autism is just as special and unique as any other child. They just need alternatie methods in order to grow and learn and become a well adjusted educated adult. It is a very do-able situation.
At 9:44 AM, KrisT said…
It's hard. I am the mother of 5 boys. My first 3 (first marriage) were 'normal'. They blended. No problems. My 2nd husband had no children so when we had our first together we were elated. From day one I was in the mindset that my little boy would be above average being as he had 3 much older brothers to learn from. As a baby/toddler he was right on track if not advanced. Walked at 9months. Literally potty trained him self. His fine motor skills were extremely advanced and he could scale 6ft fences and take apart anything with screws including doors off hinges with nothing but a fingernail clipper!! But at the age of 3 he had a vocabulary of 6 words. On the playground when asked to play he could only smile. Confused the other children would shrug him off. Assume he didnt want to play so there he stood. Watching. Just the beginning of my heartbreak. We lived in San Diego. A very large place with too many children. Not to sound racist but the area catered to low income migrants. My little boy became lost in the system. The help he needed we 'didnt qualify for' because we were not poor. And the services we paid for we were put on a waiting list...... and if we still lived in SD we would still be waiting. We moved to a small town in Oregon. When my son was in Kindergarten it was immediately noticed. In a group he disappeared within himself. He simply was unable to function. Within a week he was given an IEP and with the help of doctors and several school district staff members he was bombarded with the help he needed. He was diagnosed at the age of 6 with PDD-NOS. He has autistic tendancies but is not full blown autistic. He does not fit in any specific category but has traits that place him under the umbrella. His social and speaking skill are severely delayed. He has difficulty processing things and when frustrated he has 'meltdowns'. Sometimes can become violent or completely withdrawn. 20 yrs ago he would have been seen as an out of control, undiscipline brat. He would have never been able to complete school and would most likely be an uneducated juvenile delinquent and I dont even want to think of what his adulthood would be like. I had always 'pooh-poohed' labels as lame excuses. But now...... I am so greatful for the label he was given. I like the wording of 'not fitting the mold'. It is true. He is a very smart young man. Adventurous. Adorable. Healthy. Outgoing.... he is just not 'typical'. He cant be taught as typical children are taught. I refer to it as going through a back door in order to get through to him. He is being mainstreamed into a first grade class but still has a long road ahead of him. The good news is that these children are now being recognized and are being given the help they need. It is not only in the classroom. I, as a parent, am getting the assistance I need in order to deal with him at home. My other children dont understand completely but know that I do have to treat him differently in certian situations. There is a difference between tantrums and meltdowns. It's very difficult to explain. Those with children who are challenged know what I mean. Those that dont.... will probably think the way I used to. Labels are excuses used to justify their ill tempered spoiled brat kids. One might say they are ignorant. It is simply that they dont have a special child or they are in denial. The thing is to treat your chlid or grandchild appropriately. give them the support, love and encouragement they need. Every child is different and the Spectrum is large so to each his own. It is not easy and it will be a lifelong struggle. Education is the key. Not just for the child but for the parent or caregiver as well as all the loved ones involved. There is no cure. But it can be overcome. Hang in there. Stay strong and know......your not alone. My words in a sense echo Rhonda's. Dont let other peoples ignorance defeat you. Its not thier fault they dont understand. Know that a child with autism is just as special and unique as any other child. They just need alternatie methods in order to grow and learn and become a well adjusted educated adult. It is a very do-able situation.
At 9:46 AM, KrisT said…
Sorry did not mean to post that twice......
At 3:49 PM, silverbonn said…
My heart breaks for ALL of you.
A friend of mine has a daughter with autism who is still on a waiting list (going on 6 years now) TRYING to get help. (She lives in (rural) New Mexico where the help is virtually non-existent or so far away the logistics are impossible.)
It's a theory (of mine and others) that autists don't have the same "filters" as normal folk, are bombarded by stimuli from the outside world and therefore, shut down in "self-defense."
I could write VOLUMES about my theories about the disorder, such as the fine line between "Artists" and "Autists" and, that what autists are afflicted with is not a form of "retardation" but "brilliance"--but I won't.
As far as the cause/s...
Has anyone told you about (again, another theory) the link between VACCINATIONS and autism? (The ages the symptoms begin to show seem to fit.)
"You" are ALL in my prayers...
At 12:23 PM, shaybare06 said…
hello,i need your help,im pregnet with a boy and he will be born augest 1st,i have nothing yet,please help me!my name is nicole cooper,my address is,
150 sims ave lot 9
panama city,fl.
32404
thank you and may god bless you!
At 12:24 PM, shaybare06 said…
please help my baby and i!
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